• Grief and Dying with Crystals and Other Healing Tools

    Grief and Dying with Crystals and Other Healing Tools

    Last month one of my beloved cats passed away from a sudden and unexpected illness

    My handsome, funny, and very special cat, Papillon.

    Grief always comes when losing a dear pet because of how important of a part they play in our lives. Unlike humans, animals lack the ability to be emotionally dishonest. Their feelings are never hidden under masks because they don’t lie about how they are feeling. Whatever they feel, they express. They are present with their own feelings when they go through them, and are present with us when we experience ours. Because of this, animals provide a deep and honest emotional companionship that we simply cannot get from other human beings. So when our animal companions transition out of their bodies, we cannot help but feel grief, for oftentimes they are the only beings that have truly seen us.

    I was lucky that I was able to spend time with my cat before he passed. I made him a soft bed next to my own with a houseplant for some canopy (because hiding amongst plants had been one of his favorite things to do). And knowing that he was soon going to transition, I placed some crystals next to him.

    The first was selenite. Selenite is a crystal that transmits the powerful energy of Divine Light. My cat was leaving his body, so I wanted to support this transition by lightening his energy and make it easier for him to separate from his physical body. The second crystal I put next to him was rose quartz as it holds the energies of love in its most purest form. Thus, I placed a hunk of rose quartz next to him so that he could also have the energy of Divine Love consistently around him. But the other reason why I put rose quartz with him was so that I could program my rose quartz with my cat’s love. As I write in my book, quartz is the ultimate programming and record keeping stone. Because rose quartz is most attuned to the energy of love, it was the best variety of quartz to be infused with the love my cat had for me. Now, if I want to connect to his energy and his love, I can connect through my programmed rose quartz. I am able to more clearly feel his love, which emanates through the stone.

    I also worked with flower essences for his transition. Flower Essence Services makes two wonderful flower essence formulas for end-of-life situations like this. Peace-Full is formulated to help the being who is leaving their body a smoother and more graceful passage into the spiritual worlds. Animals sometimes will put themselves through immense physical pain hanging on to their bodies because they don’t want to let their humans down by leaving them. The Peace-Full formula helps mitigate this tethering, allowing the pet to leave their body and more easily transition into connecting with you in a non-physical way. In addition its many other benefits, this formula also helps the physical body bear any physical pain it may be in, and make the presence of the spiritual worlds clearer for the transitioning soul to step into.

    On myself, I used the companion flower formula, Compassionate Care-Giver. This flower formula is immensely helpful for those who are caring for someone who is leaving their body. It includes flowers that help you to hold space, be compassionate, and truly supportive of another’s dying process, while still helping you be present your own emotions and needs. Thus, in many ways it helps you to begin grieving with clarity so that you are better able to sort out where your different emotions are coming from and move through the process of grieving more smoothly.

    The last day with my cat I cried and felt much pain. I grieved as I remembered all the memories I had of him and felt all the sadness that we wouldn’t have more memories to make together. I told him how much I loved him, how special he was to me, and how glad I was to have him in my life. While I did this, waves of grief, intense and deep, would ripple through me. Though these emotions were sometimes close to overwhelming, I didn’t avoid it. Instead I leaned into my feelings, letting the pain move through me. For I knew that unless I allowed myself to fully experience the totality of all the emotions I felt, I would not be able to fully heal. Instead, my grief would drag out, weighing down all other parts of my life. The pain would be stretched out, continuing over a long duration of time until I finally stopped, faced, and healed my pain.

    After my cat died, my grieving process continued. But in my sadness I was still able to observe that my grief came in surges. Even at its most intense, the grief would quickly climb a peak, than slowly dissipate in intensity. It reminded me of a mantra I learned: “Can I handle this pain for ten more seconds?” With every rising swell of pain I would ask myself if I could hold for ten more seconds. And even though it could be insanely painful, I always managed the strength to say, “yes”. After those ten seconds, if was still feeling very intense, I would ask myself, “Can I handle this pain for another ten seconds?” And I found that yes, I could always make it through another ten seconds. By breaking things down into these ten second increments, I was able to ride out the emotional pain, because the actual crests of the grief and sadness, when the pain was almost overwhelming, didn’t actually persist for very long. Yes, it hurt, but I knew it was better to feel the pain rather than to stuff these emotions away to let them fester and explode somewhere else. So while things got intense, it didn’t get messy.

    Another thing that helped me through the waves of emotion was using the flower formula Grief Relief-- an incredible flower formula I and others I know have used many times to great result. When I finally remembered I had this amazing tool to help me through the process, I sprayed some under my tongue and experienced an immediate soothing in my heart. The best way I can describe how this flower essence makes one feel is that it softens the intensity of the pain of loss. Though I still felt grief and sadness, the pain no longer felt like it could tear me apart. And this smoothing over the sharp edges of my pain helped me to better fully experience all the rest of my emotions and continue moving toward healing and closure.

    My cat already knew he would reincarnate into my life again

    Some months prior to my cat’s passing I had spoken to an animal communicator who relayed to me that my cat had been fine with the process of getting old. His health issues, though manageable, had been becoming more and more chronic. My cat wanted to convey to me that he was unafraid of feeling sick and that it would be ok if he was ill before he passed.

    The animal communicator also told me that my cat had already decided to reincarnate and come back in my life to be with me again. She told me that after my cat passed that it might feel like a long while in human time before he returned, but that he loved me so much that he wanted me to know that he’d be seeing me again, and that he would again choose to be good-looking again (which was pretty funny because my cat was very proud of, and loved being complimented on his looks!) I had friends who had animals reincarnate back into their lives, and I myself had experienced chickens reincarnating back into my flock, so I knew this was a possibility. As he seemed healthy enough that we might have at least a couple more years together, I tucked away this information for another day.

    But a couple months later when my cat suddenly got sick and I realized the most gracious thing was to put him down, I already knew that he was coming back to me. I knew it would only be a matter of time before we would be together again. Though right after his passing, when it was painful to experience life without his warm, furry body, and smart, mischievous personality beside me, I was comforted knowing that I wouldn’t have to myself die before I would see him again.

    I’ve since had an animal communication session with my cat now that he’s on the other side. Apparently, he’s having a fabulous time. He hadn’t realized how hard things had been getting in his body and felt much better being free of it. It’s a comfort to know that he agreed with our decision to put him down, that he also felt it was the best thing to do for him. It was reassuring to hear him confirm his support of the decision me and my husband had made for him.

    In addition to fully immersing myself into the grieving process using crystals and flower essences and speaking with animal communicators, another thing that immensely helped my grieving process was allowing new love to come into my life. In retrospect it was fortuitous that at the time of my cat’s passing, we had been fostering a mother cat and her six babies. It had been a very long time since I had been around a litter of kittens, and I was reminded of what a joyful experience it is to be amongst newly incarnated spirits growing into their youthful little bodies.  

    The kittens are completely absorbed in their own explorations and their own curiosity of life. Everything is an occasion to celebrate. They eat heartily, play jubilantly, and sleep intensely. And we humans are a great pleasure to them as we give them attention and affection and delight in all their discoveries. It’s really hard to not see the brighter things in life when you’re surrounded by half-a-dozen fuzzy balls of emotional light. So though I was grieving for the loss of my cat, I also allowed myself to feel all the joy and happiness the kittens were bringing into my home. Our intention was to adopt out all the babies, but with the passing of my cat, we ended up keeping one of the kittens-- a sweet little boy with the cutest little cry (who also snores in the most adorable squeaky way). So new love is in my life, and I am smitten.

    Kittens make the world a better place!

    The fuzzy ginger colored one is front is our new baby, Jonathan Gold.

    I still miss my beloved cat, but I don’t feel any more grief. There are moments where I wish he was here to grace us with his presence, do something mischevious or funny, but I carry on like he’s away on a long trip. It might feel like that he's been gone for so very long, but suddenly he’ll be back, and we’ll be together happily again. Until then, I’ll do my best to do what my cat would have wanted me to do, which is to be happy. And I’ll have a new guy to keep my company while I do it.

    Crystals for grieving

    In addition to the crystals I personally used for my grieving process, there are others I recommend that are also suited for supporting you when a loved one has passed away.

    Celestine is a crystal that helps you better hear your angels and other beings that are based in the ethereal realms. It helps you tune into the frequency that they speak to you on, allowing their messages to come through to you with greater clarity.

    Anhydrite is like celestine in that it helps you better connect to your angels, guides, and other beings based in the ethereal realms too. But while celestine is better suited for attuning your ability to hear those who have crossed over, blue anhydrite (also known as angelite) is better suited for feeling and sensing them in a kinesthetic way. With this stone you are more likely to pick up information with your body in the form of physical sensations.

    This is a great stone to use if you didn’t have an opportunity to program a rose quartz with your loved one’s energy before they passed. Danburite is like an antenna for hearts. It helps you connect to loved ones that have crossed over through the heart chakra. While with celestine and blue anhydrite will help you hear the messages they are sending you, danburite will help you more distinctly feel the love they have for you.

    *These crystals and more can be found in the GRIEF KIT available in the Place 8 Healing shop.

    Here's a crystal ceremony you can do to make a clearer energetic connection to someone who has crossed over.

    - a cleansed crystal: For more details on cleansing your crystals, see my book.
    - a picture, some object that is connected to or reminds you of your loved one, and/or a letter to them.
    - small candle
    - smudge

    - Find an area that you would like to make a small altar space. This can be as simple as a small area on a shelf, or a small tray on a table.
    - Smudge the altar area.
    - Light a small candle and place on the altar area.
    - Place the picture, object, and/or letter on the altar area.
    - Smudge the crystal you are holding.
    - Hold the crystal and meditate with it. Have the intention that you are connecting to your loved one through the crystal. Think about your loved one, and let your feelings for them come forth.
    - Gently ask the crystal to connect to your loved one. And ask the crystal to help you to be able to receive the messages and love your loved ones are sending you.
    - Let the candle safely burn out.

    Later, you can hold the crystal whenever you want to spend time and connect to your loved one. Remember to keep your altar both physically and energetically clean. Dust the area if it gets dirty and smudge the altar space if you feel like the energy needs to be refreshed or your connected reestablished.

    Animal Communicators

    In this post, I mentioned working with animal communicators. The following I have personally had sessions with and know that they work in great love and high integrity.

    Theresa Wagner - Jonquil Williams - Nancy Windheart - George Wright

    I also mentioned stories of animal reincarnation. Here are a few places where you can read the stories of animals coming back.

    Stories of animal reincarnation:
    Animal Reincarnation: Love Never Dies by Nancy Windheart
    Animal reincarnation info (with cute photo example!) on Jonquil William's website
    - Penelope Smith's book, Animals in Spirit: Our Faithful Animals' Transition to the Afterlife

    May all of this information be helpful
    and of service to you.

    Crystal Blessings,